The third chapter of series (here, I would call it standard) is 10 steps back when it had the second half ahead. Downgraded to the level of the first chapter, and we are thus faced with a series of disconnected episodes, almost random, which theoretically should be held together by a plot, but they are put there without even a continuity (you just think that I do not remember what order they occurred). For this reason, my review will like the film: totally random. When I seem to see a glimmer of plot I will work to let you know.
protagonists.
In Eclipse there are virtually all the characters we've grown to love (but not) during these events film of passion (Unfortunately for Bella, non-sexual) AND 'some great return that you might not remember (I'll see you coming back to mind all). Of all these it is important to mention:
1. The monoespressività Scazzi Bella.
I am surprised? Sad? Happy? Just emo? Who knows. So no one understands me.
2. The torso of Jacob.
Bella, love me! Or at least give me a shirt!
Bella, love me! Or at least give me a shirt! 3. The VOLVO (!!!!) Edward.
Luccicos almost as much as my master.
Luccicos almost as much as my master. 4. Looks intense.
5. L'Oreal (her more about that later)
.JPG)
Pantene makes me a blowjob.
5. L'Oreal (her more about that later)
.JPG)
Pantene makes me a blowjob. 6. DAKOTA FANNING
7. Various and any (all others).
Bella's father does not want her going out with Edward, but would prefer to know how to marry happily with Jacob. This obviously makes the story real and intense ammore of Bella and Edward even more epic, because the family is against it. However, it seems that our man is a wolf with a very limited wardrobe is going through a difficult time, and Bella's father wants her (as a teenager full of joie de vivre and enthusiasm!) To help him out.
7. Various and any (all others).
Plot.
A guy in Seattle is attacked by super beings (I searched on Google and it seems that they can be ... vampires!), Bitten on the hand, and left dying on the asphalt. (Since just a bite on the hand? Mah)
When I'm about to get interested, it cuts to ...
Il Mulino I would like.
Beautiful and Shiny are lying on the grass and have a very intense dialogue that can be summarized in the following lines:
Bella: "Vampirizzami"
Edward: "No"
B: "Vampirizzami."
E: "No. Marry me. "
B:" No. "
E:" Marry me! "
B:" No, I'm not pregnant. "(There's a lot to say about this statement. So much that I will not say anything) .
Swan House (the name of Bella. Did you know? Son important details).
Bella's father does not want her going out with Edward, but would prefer to know how to marry happily with Jacob. This obviously makes the story real and intense ammore of Bella and Edward even more epic, because the family is against it. However, it seems that our man is a wolf with a very limited wardrobe is going through a difficult time, and Bella's father wants her (as a teenager full of joie de vivre and enthusiasm!) To help him out.
Bella tries to call Jacob but is not responding. Thank goodness. Bella is not the best person to bring out someone from depression.
I love you so that you sdrumo the pick-up.
Bella wants to go and see Jacob the Indian reservation, mounted on pick-up but will not start. He turns to the passenger seat is Edward, who, loving boyfriend who is not at all stalker has:
Soon there will be a ceremony for the awarding of diplomas. Friends of Bella, which are more interesting characters in her prepared speech that one of them will say on that occasion. I'm about to get interested when the discussion goes off on ...
The Visions of Alice .
Alice, Edward's sister (the one who helps him spy Bella) apparently has a terrifying vision, which we can not know. I see a glimmer of almost PLOT, but suddenly disappears.
Swan House (again).
I love you so that you sdrumo the pick-up.
Bella wants to go and see Jacob the Indian reservation, mounted on pick-up but will not start. He turns to the passenger seat is Edward, who, loving boyfriend who is not at all stalker has:
- the visions of his sister used to spy on his girlfriend and wanted to know where to go and
- has hijacked the van to prevent it from starting. All this because he loves her. And she worried about her!
Soon there will be a ceremony for the awarding of diplomas. Friends of Bella, which are more interesting characters in her prepared speech that one of them will say on that occasion. I'm about to get interested when the discussion goes off on ...
The Visions of Alice .
Alice, Edward's sister (the one who helps him spy Bella) apparently has a terrifying vision, which we can not know. I see a glimmer of almost PLOT, but suddenly disappears.
Swan House (again).
Edward Bella her home (or maybe the door to the office of the sheriff, chissiricorda, in which case we would be the sheriff's office) and says to her father for the team (her) birthday, gave two plane tickets for traveling to California by the team (her) mother. The father hesitantly accepts.
Apparently this scene did not make sense, but in reality it has, because Meyer mica sta lì a pettinar le bambole. Edward vuole dissuadere Bella dai suoi propositi vampireschi, e pensa che accompagnandola dalla madre cambi idea.
California Dreaming.
Apparently this scene did not make sense, but in reality it has, because Meyer mica sta lì a pettinar le bambole. Edward vuole dissuadere Bella dai suoi propositi vampireschi, e pensa che accompagnandola dalla madre cambi idea.
California Dreaming.
Scena inutile madre-figlia (con Edward che usa l'orecchio bionico per spiarle da dentro casa).
La madre le regala una trapunta (quilt) fatta con tutte le t-shirt comprate durante i loro viaggi. Molto americano il tutto.
E proprio quando ormai avevamo perso le speranze, scorgiamo un pezzettino di...
Trama.
Il ragazzo assalito a inizio film è diventato vampiro e sta creando un esercito di vampiri. Nel frattempo, il padre di Bella lo sta cercando da mesi. Fine piece of the plot.
You're the One That I Want.
Grease always reward.
Edward stands there, wondering how it is possible that Bella would prefer a motorcycle (10 HP) to his Volvo.
I had also polished.
La madre le regala una trapunta (quilt) fatta con tutte le t-shirt comprate durante i loro viaggi. Molto americano il tutto.
E proprio quando ormai avevamo perso le speranze, scorgiamo un pezzettino di...
Trama.
Il ragazzo assalito a inizio film è diventato vampiro e sta creando un esercito di vampiri. Nel frattempo, il padre di Bella lo sta cercando da mesi. Fine piece of the plot.
You're the One That I Want.
The Shiny Bella goes to school on his Volvo. The way in which Bella is sitting in the car (curled up in fetal position, very unhappy to live) there is the love even more. I descend from two
VOLVO and, big surprise!.
In the schoolyard, leaning against his motorcycle with wolfish prowess, there is Jacob. For the occasion, he rummaged in the closet and wore a black T-shirt that makes him frighteningly like Danny Zuko (Grease, anyone?).
Bella, look at me! I miss only the grease!
Danny Zuko.
Beautiful / Sandy soon forget the promises of eternal love with Edward, and even the school run by Jacob / Danny, gets on his bike and take you for a ride. VOLVO and, big surprise!.
In the schoolyard, leaning against his motorcycle with wolfish prowess, there is Jacob. For the occasion, he rummaged in the closet and wore a black T-shirt that makes him frighteningly like Danny Zuko (Grease, anyone?).
Bella, look at me! I miss only the grease! 
Danny Zuko. 
Grease always reward. Edward stands there, wondering how it is possible that Bella would prefer a motorcycle (10 HP) to his Volvo.
I had also polished. How to know (I love you).
Jacob brings Bella to take a trip to the moors, then the door to the meeting point of the California Dream Men (aka his tribbù of wolves).
Find the differences: Tribbù of wolves.
find differences: California Dream Men.
spend the evening listening to Indian legends sitting around a campfire. When Bella comes home, Edward is obviously waiting for her, because it's time for a substantial ration of ...
Plot.
Jacob brings Bella to take a trip to the moors, then the door to the meeting point of the California Dream Men (aka his tribbù of wolves).
Find the differences: Tribbù of wolves. 
find differences: California Dream Men. spend the evening listening to Indian legends sitting around a campfire. When Bella comes home, Edward is obviously waiting for her, because it's time for a substantial ration of ...
Plot.
L'Oreal (do you remember? The flowing-haired vampire vampire girlfriend with bad the first film) is back and wants to kill Bella. The young vampire works for you, and is creating an army of vampires to take out the Cullens. Meanwhile amongst the various massacres in Seattle. Strangely, the Volturi (vampires are scavengers made in Italy which should eliminate those who make too much mess and threatens to discover the existence of vampires to humans), led by Dakota Fanning, are not involved. But we see DAKOTA FANNING.
Dakota Fanning.
Dakota Fanning. FBI Witness Protection.
Since Edward can not watch over Bella alone, or else die of starvation (because they could not hunting), joins forces with Jacob to take turns for protection. Here are scenes of jealousy between the two sum, whenever one has to go and leave Bella to another.
Jacob is at pains to always appear in poses very plastic and performing (always shirtless), style cover of For Men. Bella, unconvincingly proclaimed its neutrality ("I am Switzerland!"), Is careful to rub each other on one and the other in equal parts, so as not to hurt anyone, because she is a girl tired to live, yes, but also educated.
Jacob is convinced that Bella loves him, and during one of their walks, kisses her. She throws a punch and as the wolf men apparently are hard as rocks (as well as very hot, remember), he dislocated his wrist. Moment of great hilarity. Ah. Ah. From Wolf Man that should not ever ask who is Jacob let it go, but tells Bella: "You'll see that sooner or later you'll be asking me to kiss you."
The werewolf of our hearts all the evidence to convince Bella to stay with him and not to be vampire, until you get to them veiled indecent proposals: "But you can not get the first vampire to have really lived ... before I can ... "and stops. "Fàrmiticisi" I conclude. Stupidly, she does not grasp it. Regret it later.
Training Camp Vampires.
The army of vampires who want to destroy the Cullens consists of "babies", or vampires who have just created a little 'blood and human tissue are then superforti (even more than the normal vampire superforti). I hear "baby" and I imagine them as Paciocchini.
I rely on Jasper Cullen (the one that wanted to eat Bella during her birthday party in second film, good times), which is the only one who knows how to fight them and, on occasion, create a summer camp for vampires in which trains them to do so. The Cullens bring the suit and go to train. The werewolves are allied with them.
I did not find the Cullens in suit, there should be enough for this.
Swan House (now editor of "That ) .
Bella and her father have a conversation totally out of context and meaningless sex, during which Bella is at pains to tell the parent and all of us is still a virgin, but he knows how. I imagine that all this was a necessary premessa per la scena successiva.
Sto con uno dei Jonas Brothers .
La sera, Bella ed Edward si trovano a casa di lui, completamente soli. Edward porta Bella nella sua stanza, e con somma sorpresa lei si accorge che lui ha comprato un LETTO! Siccome i due sono innamoratissimi e si conoscono molto bene, questo elemento ha un valore diametralmente opposto per i due. Secondo lei, il letto è stato comprato con lo scopo ben preciso di farle mettere in pratica tutto quello che ha imparato leggendo il Cioè . Lui l'aveva comprato solo perchè lei avesse un posto dove dormire. Bella non vuole crederci, e cerca di convincere Edward a darsi da fare.
Want to see 'is when I can?
What seems to work (with her much more committed to him, it must be said), except that when you are almost convinced that I've made, the sparkling romantic tells her: "Do not you dare to take off your clothes." Bella thinks I want to cut him, but when he stands still, he understands that he should accept the offers of Jacob, and hopefully not too late.
follows inner speech with an old friend of Bella:
sexual frustration: "Hello Bella, do you remember me?"
Bella: "How can we forget, you never abandoned."
FS: "And I never will, remember. Stephenie Meyer is Mormon . "
This conversation is interrupted by the explanations of Edward. Oh, yes, because he is a man of another era. HE has no concept of sex before marriage. He points out that if she had lived in his time, he would have courted for months, maybe kissed a few times, but she would not be granted before he had asked for her hand to her father and then, in her knee. Translated down to earth: "If you were a girl like me would not you have to offer so easily, and you would have made me sweat a bit 'more." Bella at this point feels a little' zoKKola, and how blame her. But he, as pure & romantic man, take advantage of the moment is lost to kneel down and ask her to marry him, offering it as a Patacconi ring belonged to his mother. She, needless to say, agrees.
(Applause in the room, no joke).
The Grand Plan.
Meanwhile, the story slowly progresses. It 's almost the time of the clash with the army of Paciocchini. The Cullens are studying a plan that is very sophisticated to secure Bella. The aspiring first vampire sow a little 'blood around to attract Paciocchini in a clearing, then it will flow in the arms of Jacob on top of a mountain, where waiting There will be Edward. Why Jacob and Edward door? Why Jacob smells like dog, and so confuse the smell of Paciocchini not realize the smell of Bella and can not keep track. If the Port Edward, I smell the vampire and locate.
brilliant plan, right? It also tried it once, which allows the director a couple of free shots of Bella in the arms of Jacob (shirtless).
But gelida manina ....
E 'come on the eve of great battle. Bella is brought from the mountains Jacob. At the top of the waiting Edward, who mounted a curtain. Edward is offended because she does not cry in the world who will marry him and not wearing the ring. Bella replies that he does because he needs time to explain that to Jacob. Bla bla. But here, twist! There's a snowstorm, and Bella in danger of dying of cold. Edward can not heat it up because of his condition of frozen plaice, so we thought Jacob, who enters in a tent (shirtless) and slips into Bella's sleeping bag. All under the eyes of Edward. What tension! That looks intense! The next morning Edward
makes Jacob knows that Bella will marry him. He rears Jacob, Bella runs after him, as dialogues with intense scene intense and original "tell me why should I stay !"... ooooohhhh .... And at that point, Bella asks Jacob to kiss her. The Edward who reads everything with impure thoughts of Jacob (and thinks, "ah, if he had lived in the past with me, would never have those thoughts."). Jacob goes to fight happy. Edward takes Bella without even angry, because he is a man of another era.
Epilogue. The householder
Cullen, medical care goes to the Jacob's shoulder. In the meantime, come all. Cullen looks at her dad and says: "Jacob is waiting for you." Even Dad Cullen prefers Bella with Jacob.
Bella comes in and sees Jacob (shirtless, but wrapped). They exchange words ammore.
The next day, the lawn that I would like Mill, Bella ammore also exchanged words with Edward, why not be a girl from another time, but it is really very polite.
I only do it for education.
They decide the wedding date, and then she launches into a monologue that goes something like this:
END.
Since Edward can not watch over Bella alone, or else die of starvation (because they could not hunting), joins forces with Jacob to take turns for protection. Here are scenes of jealousy between the two sum, whenever one has to go and leave Bella to another.
Jacob is at pains to always appear in poses very plastic and performing (always shirtless), style cover of For Men. Bella, unconvincingly proclaimed its neutrality ("I am Switzerland!"), Is careful to rub each other on one and the other in equal parts, so as not to hurt anyone, because she is a girl tired to live, yes, but also educated.
Jacob is convinced that Bella loves him, and during one of their walks, kisses her. She throws a punch and as the wolf men apparently are hard as rocks (as well as very hot, remember), he dislocated his wrist. Moment of great hilarity. Ah. Ah. From Wolf Man that should not ever ask who is Jacob let it go, but tells Bella: "You'll see that sooner or later you'll be asking me to kiss you."
The werewolf of our hearts all the evidence to convince Bella to stay with him and not to be vampire, until you get to them veiled indecent proposals: "But you can not get the first vampire to have really lived ... before I can ... "and stops. "Fàrmiticisi" I conclude. Stupidly, she does not grasp it. Regret it later.
Training Camp Vampires.
The army of vampires who want to destroy the Cullens consists of "babies", or vampires who have just created a little 'blood and human tissue are then superforti (even more than the normal vampire superforti). I hear "baby" and I imagine them as Paciocchini.
I did not find the Cullens in suit, there should be enough for this. Swan House (now editor of "That ) .
Bella and her father have a conversation totally out of context and meaningless sex, during which Bella is at pains to tell the parent and all of us is still a virgin, but he knows how. I imagine that all this was a necessary premessa per la scena successiva.
Sto con uno dei Jonas Brothers .
La sera, Bella ed Edward si trovano a casa di lui, completamente soli. Edward porta Bella nella sua stanza, e con somma sorpresa lei si accorge che lui ha comprato un LETTO! Siccome i due sono innamoratissimi e si conoscono molto bene, questo elemento ha un valore diametralmente opposto per i due. Secondo lei, il letto è stato comprato con lo scopo ben preciso di farle mettere in pratica tutto quello che ha imparato leggendo il Cioè . Lui l'aveva comprato solo perchè lei avesse un posto dove dormire. Bella non vuole crederci, e cerca di convincere Edward a darsi da fare.
Want to see 'is when I can? What seems to work (with her much more committed to him, it must be said), except that when you are almost convinced that I've made, the sparkling romantic tells her: "Do not you dare to take off your clothes." Bella thinks I want to cut him, but when he stands still, he understands that he should accept the offers of Jacob, and hopefully not too late.
follows inner speech with an old friend of Bella:
sexual frustration: "Hello Bella, do you remember me?"
Bella: "How can we forget, you never abandoned."
FS: "And I never will, remember. Stephenie Meyer is Mormon . "
This conversation is interrupted by the explanations of Edward. Oh, yes, because he is a man of another era. HE has no concept of sex before marriage. He points out that if she had lived in his time, he would have courted for months, maybe kissed a few times, but she would not be granted before he had asked for her hand to her father and then, in her knee. Translated down to earth: "If you were a girl like me would not you have to offer so easily, and you would have made me sweat a bit 'more." Bella at this point feels a little' zoKKola, and how blame her. But he, as pure & romantic man, take advantage of the moment is lost to kneel down and ask her to marry him, offering it as a Patacconi ring belonged to his mother. She, needless to say, agrees.
(Applause in the room, no joke).
The Grand Plan.
Meanwhile, the story slowly progresses. It 's almost the time of the clash with the army of Paciocchini. The Cullens are studying a plan that is very sophisticated to secure Bella. The aspiring first vampire sow a little 'blood around to attract Paciocchini in a clearing, then it will flow in the arms of Jacob on top of a mountain, where waiting There will be Edward. Why Jacob and Edward door? Why Jacob smells like dog, and so confuse the smell of Paciocchini not realize the smell of Bella and can not keep track. If the Port Edward, I smell the vampire and locate.
brilliant plan, right? It also tried it once, which allows the director a couple of free shots of Bella in the arms of Jacob (shirtless).
But gelida manina ....
E 'come on the eve of great battle. Bella is brought from the mountains Jacob. At the top of the waiting Edward, who mounted a curtain. Edward is offended because she does not cry in the world who will marry him and not wearing the ring. Bella replies that he does because he needs time to explain that to Jacob. Bla bla. But here, twist! There's a snowstorm, and Bella in danger of dying of cold. Edward can not heat it up because of his condition of frozen plaice, so we thought Jacob, who enters in a tent (shirtless) and slips into Bella's sleeping bag. All under the eyes of Edward. What tension! That looks intense! The next morning Edward
makes Jacob knows that Bella will marry him. He rears Jacob, Bella runs after him, as dialogues with intense scene intense and original "tell me why should I stay !"... ooooohhhh .... And at that point, Bella asks Jacob to kiss her. The Edward who reads everything with impure thoughts of Jacob (and thinks, "ah, if he had lived in the past with me, would never have those thoughts."). Jacob goes to fight happy. Edward takes Bella without even angry, because he is a man of another era.
Plot.
The war between vampires, hanging throughout the film, takes the usual 5 minutes, where you see that vampires are a mix between a block of ice and a Swarovski, and can literally be broken. Meanwhile, on the top, L'Oreal and uncover his friend Edward and Bella. But how? If they had devised a plan so perfect that we had brought her through the film with the evidence! Simple, have followed the smell of Edward coming up the mountain to wait for Bella. Fantastic, really, the floor fool of the century. In short, Edward is stricken with two, and is about to lose, but Bella glance arm (reminiscent of the beautiful celebration of 18 years) so the bad vampires are distracted by the smell of blood and Edward wins. Great pathos.
Meanwhile, the Cullens and the werewolves have already slaughtered the invincible army of super Paciocchini. With a plot device, however, a Paciocchino escaped the massacre, the last one left, instead of running away comes out of nowhere and shattered the shoulder of Jacob, who was carried off howling.
Almost simultaneously, there's Edward and Bella, who pines for Jacob's shoulder. But here come the Volturi. Not walking, not jumping, not running but floating.
DAKOTA FANNING is angry. Meanwhile, is losing its reputation as an actress involved with these stupid teen movies, and then Bella has not yet been ordered as a vampire. If he leaves, but very upset.
Dakota Fanning is upset.
Epilogue. The householder
Cullen, medical care goes to the Jacob's shoulder. In the meantime, come all. Cullen looks at her dad and says: "Jacob is waiting for you." Even Dad Cullen prefers Bella with Jacob.
Bella comes in and sees Jacob (shirtless, but wrapped). They exchange words ammore.
The next day, the lawn that I would like Mill, Bella ammore also exchanged words with Edward, why not be a girl from another time, but it is really very polite.
I only do it for education. I'm different, I do everything sucks, I do not feel comfortable anywhere, this world I like it, people do not like, I want a different life. This is why I you vampire, because I have the vocation to be a vampire, because I'm not good in this world.If these are valid reasons, at this point we should all adolescent depressed vampire in the world.
END.
